Joke In The Box

"Dealing with AT&T"

    Me: Hello
    AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
    Me: Is this AT&T?
    AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
    Me: This is AT&T?
    AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
    Me: Is this AT&T?
    AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
    Me: May I ask who is calling?
    AT&T: This is AT&T.
    Me: OK, hold on.

    At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking
 that, surely,  this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my
 surprise, when I picked up  the receiver, they were still waiting.

    Me: Hello?
    AT&T: Is this Mr. Line?
    Me: May I ask who is calling please?
    AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
    Me: Is this AT&T?
    AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
    Me: This is AT&T?
    AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Line?
    Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
    AT&T: Yes sir.
    Me: The phone company?
    AT&T: Yes sir.
    Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
    AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
    Me: I already have a phone.
    AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Line.
    Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for
        calling.

    When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can
 express yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested",
 but this lady was persistent.

    AT&T: Mr. Line we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24
          hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

    Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a
minute but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that
it was time to whip out  the trusty old calculator and do a little
ciphering.

    Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
    AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes
          sir that's right! 24 hours a day!
    Me: 7 days a week?
    AT&T: That's right.
    Me: 365 days a year?
    AT&T: Yes sir.
    Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
    AT&T: We think so!
    Me: That's quite a sum of money!
    AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it ads up.
    Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big
        one at the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send
        an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
    AT&T: Excuse me?
    Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
    AT&T: What are you talking about?
    Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days
        a week, 365  days a year.  That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per
        week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you
        will be making payment.
    AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10
          cents a minute.
    Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a
        minute. Are you sure this is AT&T?
    AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
    Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give
        me 10 cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is
        this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read
        about things like this in the Enquirer you know.  Don't use
        your alien brainwashing techniques on me.
    AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
    Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
    AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
    Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
    AT&T: What?
    Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
    AT&T: Yes Mr. Line. Please hold on.

    So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to
eat while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes
and while I have a  mouth full of food:

    Supervisor: Mr. Line?
    Me: Yeth?
    Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10
                cents a minute  program.
    Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
    Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.

    I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do
to suppress  my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.

    Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so
        that I could sign up for the plan.
    Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who
                was helping you.
    Me: Thank you.

    I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to
end this conversation.
    Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end
of the phone.

    AT&T: Hello Mr. Line, I understand that you are interested in
          signing up for our plan?
    Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never
        have enough  friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to
have a little brother...
    AT&T: (click)
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